Sometimes I realize how hard it might get. Apart from all the adventurous side which is exciting and if you think about it a little shallow, there’s gonna be so much more. So much I’m not able to completely conceive of while I’m still here in Italy. I wonder how changing everything that is around you will affect the only thing which I have the power to allow not to change: Myself.
Inevitably I know it will mold me into someone new. It has to.
Looking back to the few times I’ve been away for some time, I must admit I wound up sucking up, cherishing and treasuring as much as I could from what and who is around me. I’ve experienced that more than once. I believe that’s what keeps me moving, what makes me sacrifice friendships, or at least, modify relationships with people I care about, what chips away at all the chances “love” has been putting on the table, what offers me more than anything else might right now.
Whether this is a good thing or not, whether I will benefit from it or not, I can’t tell, although I truly believe it is and I will – otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it, right? – but I also like to think one day I will look back and smile at it.
And in case I get burnt, screw it, I might even learn something.
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