I dont' think I can take anymore of this. I'm just over. Done. Finito. I just don't have the energy anymore. It's like I'm withering. It's horrible. I can't concentrate. I can't focus. I can't even sleep nor rest. I just don't work.
I've basically kept doing the same stuff since May, just reapeating it over and over. I fully aware of the fact it's only gonna take another two short weeks and this dreadful nightmare will be over but for the first time in a long while I don't think I can do it.
Deep inside I wish that this is just a glitch, tomorrow the sun will be shining and I'll be able to get down and work again. But I don't know. I'm a wreck. I know I keep saying this but really. I would go out for a ride but I'm too tense. I feel like screaming and breaking things.
I look terrible. I pity myself. I have a bad eye infection and they're completely red. My hair's a mess. Tomorrow I'm going to have it cut at last. Hallelujah. I just realized that I've been wearing this shirt upside down the whole day. My belly is swelling up visibly. It's fat. It's not even alcohol like it happened in Iceland. It's just that I'm eating like a pig (Friends' Joey style) and I spent half day sitting in front a fucking laptop and a fair share sleeping on the couch (my room is still out of order) and the rest swallowing food. I've rarely felt so unattractive.
Real nice picture, uh?
Now you might start thinking that I'm overusing the advice I always give: Always do have something to complain about. But this time I'm serious.
The only thing that might help me would be floating still underwater. There would be no sounds, no people, no thoughts, no worries, no nothing. Just me and my heartbeat. As if the the water was a bubble.
But I know I've got to dig deeper if I wanna get to the end. I just have to.
I've basically kept doing the same stuff since May, just reapeating it over and over. I fully aware of the fact it's only gonna take another two short weeks and this dreadful nightmare will be over but for the first time in a long while I don't think I can do it.
Deep inside I wish that this is just a glitch, tomorrow the sun will be shining and I'll be able to get down and work again. But I don't know. I'm a wreck. I know I keep saying this but really. I would go out for a ride but I'm too tense. I feel like screaming and breaking things.
I look terrible. I pity myself. I have a bad eye infection and they're completely red. My hair's a mess. Tomorrow I'm going to have it cut at last. Hallelujah. I just realized that I've been wearing this shirt upside down the whole day. My belly is swelling up visibly. It's fat. It's not even alcohol like it happened in Iceland. It's just that I'm eating like a pig (Friends' Joey style) and I spent half day sitting in front a fucking laptop and a fair share sleeping on the couch (my room is still out of order) and the rest swallowing food. I've rarely felt so unattractive.
Real nice picture, uh?
Now you might start thinking that I'm overusing the advice I always give: Always do have something to complain about. But this time I'm serious.
The only thing that might help me would be floating still underwater. There would be no sounds, no people, no thoughts, no worries, no nothing. Just me and my heartbeat. As if the the water was a bubble.
But I know I've got to dig deeper if I wanna get to the end. I just have to.
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