Music & Dream(s)

Sunday. Evening.

The Italian music scene is crap. Pure and genuine shit. I’ve been zapping from MTV to AllMusic for a while. There are literally a dozen of bands with similar names, same “style”, akin pretty faces and horrible songs. Am actually starting to think it might be the same song, sampled, remixed and played over and over by different people (? Not sure about that either). Or maybe it’s just me who can’t distinguish them. More likely I’ve seen the same video twice on different channels and thought it was the same. Am losing sanity then.

I’m thankful that there are some foreigners. Am I so xenophile? V. thoughtful right now.

However, today I’ve exchanged some v. deep text messages with Giu. It all started because I had a dream last night. I actually had two. But only one was about him. We were in Australia and wanted to buy a house by the sea. He started speaking the Roman dialect with the lawyer just when we were about to sign the contract and he got mad ‘cos the guy didn’t understand a word. I found it hilarious but we ended up without our house.

Anyway, I wrote him I had this dream. He said that sometimes they come true, or partly true (was he referring to the house or to us being together? Doubtful). I replied I gave up dreaming purposelessly ‘cos it simply isn’t healthy. But that when it comes to him, I might be willing to open the negotiations back again, I’m not so strict after all. He wrote, and I’ll quote here (fuck the privacy): “Anyway just remember that life is short and long at the same time. Maybe dreams are nothing but premonitions which attribute our current image to the future… ‘cos we’re not able to devise a different one. Maybe one day everything you long for and dream will actually come true”

I totally agreed and added that it’s a little harder, though, that fulfilling your own dreams will coincide with someone else’s, that those two separate paths are gonna cross one another eventually. The only thing we can do about it is to let destiny decide what we can’t control.

He believes it, too.

Let’s draw a moral here. There’s none. This doesn’t make any sense, it doesn’t answer my question (which I haven’t really made explicit). What shall I do? Waiting for fucking destiny to draw me some places rather than others? So the fact that I got the job should not make reconsider certain things? I should just go and forget everything and leave everything the way it is?

Moving on to another spicier subject. Dream #2. I recalled a v. hot playful afternoon with some guy I dated for a while just about a year back. It was weird cos I was horny all the time when we were together, but he was actually a jerk with huge self-acceptance issues, which was absolutely not my duty to help him solve. He’s a grown-up. I just hope I at least made him think a little. In the bedroom department, though, he was terrific. And I vividly remember this one afternoon we spent together. It’s become an obsession. I sent him a text message right away, although I knew that he was seeing someone. Turns out, not anymore!!!!!!!! So I’ve made up my mind and self-invited at his place when I come back from London. V. naughty right now. And turned on. :)