Recharging

I sleep a lot. It feels like I have been unloading much of the stress that I'd accrued since I got back from Iceland by sleeping. It's something very physical. I feel my whole body aching sometimes. Especially in the evening my legs are killing me. I didn’t realize it at first, but now, after these three weeks here, I have been thinking about how deeply my life has changed once again. The summery months did knock me out completely. I didn’t know they would have such an enduring negative effect on me. I was a wreck. I still partly am. I’m gonna pull through alright, it’s just gonna take time.

I wrote a letter to a friend last night and talked about this, that’s how I realize it. Usually when I write or talk directly to someone, things flow out much more naturally. Probably this is also one of the reasons why I started writing this blog and why I feel the urge to jot down my thoughts and send letters.

I called a friend of mine the first week I was here. I was not jetlagged. Not anymore. We talked for just a couple of minutes. I wanted to assure her that I was doing ok. Later she wrote me I sounded shaky and a bit jumpy. I probably was. I think I am still now. I am not myself totally. Not 100%. It’s like I’m slowly recharging my physical and psychological batteries. I did not realize how down I was. I had no idea. The recovery period is making me understand what I went through.

This doesn’t mean, on the other hand, that I don’t like it here. I love it. I just can’t appreciate it all because I feel a bit numb still. And it sucks but there isn’t much that I can do about it but wait, make the most of my time here. I have by my side someone that is extraordinary and is making it easy for me to settle down and adjust to all the changes. As I wrote to M., I’m no hurry to do do do. I wanna take it easy, lay back and chill. Which is perfectly in line with the Australian attitude and way of thinking.

Speaking of which, today we had a nice picnic by the sea. The place we went to is called McKell Park, that is down Darling Point Rd. I got to know some new people. Queer mostly. All queer actually. I even had a dip in the harbor, too. Just lovely really. We had very relaxing afternoon, laid-back and care free. What more can I ask for?

(Another long weekend maybe??)