London last call

I'm off to London.
See ya!

Better

23.08.2006 morning

I feel better. Still down but definitely I’ve made some progress. I’m taking a break right now cos it’s been three hours and my eyes need rest. They’re red and sore. I just put some sort of lotion they gave me. I can’t see clearly. It’s all blurred. And I have to keep it on for half an hour.

Anyway, tomorrow I’m flying to London! I can’t wait. I’m so looking forward to meeting Gab. And La Davida. I’m sure we’re gonna have a swell time ! From what I got G. wants to go to watch a musical. The last one I saw was Cats something like ten years ago. I wanna go dancing. Hooking up and getting laid. Short flings with hot guys would be just perfect. M. would say again: Use and abuse. I’m definitely gonna follow her advice.

I hope this short trip will take off my mind all the bad thoughts and forget for a moment about the whole set of worries. Damn it.

And then I’ll even have the chance to go sightseeing! Yes, I’ve been to London several times, maybe seven or eight since I was a kid but never had the possibility to just walk around like a normal tourist and take stupid pictures with royal guards. So I plan to take lots of snaps.

I’m not gonna go shopping, though, cos I’m sort of broke. I’ll just browse around in Candem Town. I always like it there. Most of all I wanna spent time with those party animals. I never thought I was ever gonna say this but I think I’ll miss them.

Time to go take a shower and get ready, they’re coming pick me up in about… mmm…. 6 minutes. Must whiz.

Dig deeper

I dont' think I can take anymore of this. I'm just over. Done. Finito. I just don't have the energy anymore. It's like I'm withering. It's horrible. I can't concentrate. I can't focus. I can't even sleep nor rest. I just don't work.
I've basically kept doing the same stuff since May, just reapeating it over and over. I fully aware of the fact it's only gonna take another two short weeks and this dreadful nightmare will be over but for the first time in a long while I don't think I can do it.
Deep inside I wish that this is just a glitch, tomorrow the sun will be shining and I'll be able to get down and work again. But I don't know. I'm a wreck. I know I keep saying this but really. I would go out for a ride but I'm too tense. I feel like screaming and breaking things.
I look terrible. I pity myself. I have a bad eye infection and they're completely red. My hair's a mess. Tomorrow I'm going to have it cut at last. Hallelujah. I just realized that I've been wearing this shirt upside down the whole day. My belly is swelling up visibly. It's fat. It's not even alcohol like it happened in Iceland. It's just that I'm eating like a pig (Friends' Joey style) and I spent half day sitting in front a fucking laptop and a fair share sleeping on the couch (my room is still out of order) and the rest swallowing food. I've rarely felt so unattractive.
Real nice picture, uh?
Now you might start thinking that I'm overusing the advice I always give: Always do have something to complain about. But this time I'm serious.
The only thing that might help me would be floating still underwater. There would be no sounds, no people, no thoughts, no worries, no nothing. Just me and my heartbeat. As if the the water was a bubble.
But I know I've got to dig deeper if I wanna get to the end. I just have to.

Bread

Sometimes I wonder: is there anything more scrumptious than warm bread just taken out of the oven?
Nothing can beat that, am sure.

Welcome!!!

This morning at 9 am my friend gave birth to Matteo. The baby weighs 3.890 kg. Everyone is doing just fine. :)

Winnipeg

How about I fucking move to Winnipeg 'stead of Sydney? I'm sure I would have loads of fun there...