Energy

I think Mrs Aguilera-Bratman really filled me up with energy last night!!!
Great concert.
I'm feeling much better. No blues, no worries...

(btw she's totally knocked up)

Doth I protest too much?

I'm not threatened, by every pair of legs you watch go by
I don't cringe when you stare at women, it's just a thing called guy
I don't notice your side ways glances or where your loyalty lies
I'm secure and out of me, it's hard to get a rise

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved by much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch
Doth I protest too much?

I'm not tortured by how oft your busy, Cause I've got things to do
I'm not disappointed about how you don't miss you me, cause I don't need you to

I'm not needy
I don't get clingy much
I'm not scared
I'm not afraid as such
I'm not dependent
Rock solid, stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?

So much energy to prove to you
Who I can't possibly be
So much energy to prove to you
I'm not who you hate for me to be

I'm not saddened
And I don't miss you
Cause I have moved on too
I'm not concerned about your new lover
Cause I have a new lover too

I'm not depressed
I don't get down that much
I'm not despondent
I am not dark as such
I'm never sad
Keep Chin Up, Stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved by much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?
(Alanis Morissette)

closing my eyes

I just finished writing a nice long letter to a longtime friend and I'm really proud of it. Being alone and all, you tend to forget how important keeping in touch is. You've got so many things to think about and take care of, that sometimes you overlook this sort of things.
Therefore I am trying to write regularly to people I care about. I am trying - it doesn't mean I'll succeed...
I like writing cos it's a bit like blogging but it's more personal: you're addressing to a particular person who knows you and can elaborate your predicament, your intentions, your feelings.
When you receive a letter you physically touch it and read it, you cannot ignore it. Instead with only one click you can have a look at your emails, scan it quickly and trash it. I like receiving mail. I'm old-fashioned I guess.

Today is one of those cloudy Sunday afternoons when you feel sluggish and lazy and you just want to cocoon inside your bed, with TB purring under the covers, sipping tea and watching time roll by. I wish it rained a little cos I'd love the smell of it. But obviously it's only gonna rain when Luca is lightly dressed and running late in the morning traffic trying not to be run over by trucks...

I feel like closing my eyes and never waking up again, trying reaching out for that sought-after bliss.
Am I losing myself?